They get done with the very
strange gymnastic, horse, and clown filled tape and Charlie is pulled
into the air by a paranormal force and whacked into the walls, shelves,
and doors until he lands on the bed again. Lindsay is frightened so she
decides to go home when she flies into the air as well, becomes
possessed and she throws him into the camera killing him. Text explains
that Charlie's body was found that day but he didn't stop partying till
days later, his three kids were profound missing, Lindsay Lohan was
forced to be arrested again for the murder of Charlie Sheen, and an
award was out for anyone who finds the missing children.
Charlie's three kids are reported missing and a reward is announced for their safe return. Several months later, Snoop Dogg and Mac Miller are in the Humboldt County woods in search of illegally-grown cannabis plants to steal. After stealing one and fleeing, they take shelter in a cabin in the woods.
Upon entering they see three strange creatures, later confirmed to be
Charlie's kids, and turn them in for the reward. The feral children are
placed in isolation at a child development research center for a few
months until they are deemed well enough to be returned to familial
custody. When Charlie's brother, Dan Sanders and his wife Jody come to
collect them, they are told they can have them if they agree to stay in a
large suburban middle-class home fitted with security cameras. Jody is
reluctant to take the kids at first but soon adjusts to having them. In
an attempt to bond with their new children, Jody auditions for a ballet
performance, Swan Lake, and is cast in the lead role as the Swan Queen.
Meanwhile, a continuing pattern of bizarre paranormal activity
in their new home makes them investigate further. They eventually learn
from the children that the attacks on their home are by "Mama",
the mother of the children, who is under a curse and is trying to get
them back so she can sacrifice both herself and the children. Maria, the
couple's Hispanic live-in maid, is frightened and keeps experimenting
with various rituals, Catholic and otherwise, to ward off the evil
spirits in the house. During the day, Dan is frustrated with the modest
progress of his test subjects at a primate intelligence research
facility; ironically, Dan is not bright enough to realize that one of
the chimpanzees, Caesar, is now actually much smarter than him.
Jody and Dan, with the help of Jody's close friend Kendra, must
quickly find a way to lift the curse and save their family. Along the
way, they seek the assistance of psychic Blaine Fulda, who turns out to be a complete fraud, and a dream extractor named Dom Kolb, who helps them understand that the solution to their problems lies in the mysterious Book of the Dead.
However, Jody and Kendra fail to see what the book is capable of,
oblivious to five friends continuously becoming possessed and reviving
in the cabin. They wreck havoc when either of the two read the two
passages of the book; one that unleashes a demons and the other that
revives them from possession. When "Mama" takes the children to a cliff
to sacrifice them, Jody fails to lift the curse with the book, but does
manage to knock the evil spirit into Snoop Dogg and Mac Miller's pool
containing a live shark, which then devours her.
Realizing the love for her adopted children is all she needs in life,
Jody gives the part of the Swan Queen to Kendra, who performs the dance
in the style to that of a stripper. The performance is heavily applauded by an audience that includes Jody, Dan, the children, Caesar, and Madea.
In a post credit scene, Charlie wakes up with Dom Kolb sitting beside
him. He just had gotten done giving Charlie a dream extraction (which
the dream was the whole movie). After Kolb informs that Charlie will be
sleeping with Lindsay Lohan, a car crashes into the room, killing
Charlie. Revealing Lindsay as the driver, she gets out of the car and
says to Kolb "You were driving", and throws him the keys, blaming the
accident on him.
Director:
Malcolm D. LeeWriters:
Phil Beauman (based on characters created by), Jason Friedberg (based on characters created by)Stars:
Ashley Tisdale, Simon Rex, Charlie Sheen | See full cast and crewGenres:
ComedyCountry:
USALanguage:
EnglishRelease Date:
12 April 2013
You know why I say that, is because she wasn't in Scary
Movie 5. She was smart. I'm not sure exactly what went wrong with this
one, but I enjoyed the last 4 a lot more. Given that the 4th one was
reaching a new level of stupidity, it was still 10x more funnier than
the 5th. I regret paying $10 to watch this. This is the 2nd time in two
weeks that I have made the mistake to pay money to see a stupid movie
that ended up making me completely question why I go to the movies.
Hollywood needs to wake up. Just because you can charge people money to
see a movie, doesn't mean you should. Certain movies do not belong at
the movie theater, and this one should have been on that list. The
director should have never let this movie leave their studio, and for
the sake of all of the actors, someone there should have stopped this
movie from being produced. Again - I enjoyed the first 4, but I am now
done with the Scary Movie saga. Enough is enough, this is just
insulting. You can easily tell that even the highest paid actors like
Charlie Sheen and that chick from Modern Family, put on a massive layer
of suck in their roles. Are we all getting that lazy now days that we
are going to record ourselves doing a horrible job, posting it to the
world, and expecting money to come rolling in? I think the writers of
Scary Movie should delete this one, and make a new Scary Movie 5. The
next one that comes out will only be watched on DVD.
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